And then one day........it hit me...... I just want to blog for me.....the way I always have.......like in my original blog, Our Hearts' Haven. I blogged there to share.....if anyone looked. But it really was all about me keeping the memories.....and letting my 91 year old grandma in our lives. I barely blogged there......at the most, a few times a month. I really wanted to blog more. Sharing a blog with Willa has made me more attentive to actually getting words (or hundreds of photos ;) ) to the computer, instead of just in my head. I appreciate that. The number of posts in my drafts folders just keeps growing and growing.......and growing. Possibly a bit overwhelmingly so. No. Not possibly. Definitely.
With Blogger's new way of looking at your list of posts on the dashboard, it actually shows the number of times a post has been viewed. Somehow in the old way of looking at stats, it did not bother me, the low numbers of viewing,.....but seeing just a 1 or a 5 next to a post touched me....it made me realize that it does not matter when no one reads my posts. It was an affirmation for me....this blog really is, for me, a place to keep memories of these years of our lives......whatever that may be: living our lives, homeschooling or literature thoughts, tons of nature photographs, prayerful times, spiritual enrichment, moments of discovery..........
For my family, these years also happen to include Willa and her family, either by phone conversations, social media or real-life visits. Sharing a blog seems like an excellent way to preserve those memories as well. I am thrilled to share this space with my friend.
Just recently, I was looking for a specific post at Our Hearts' Haven. I never did get to that post...... as I had run out of time........distracted by reading other posts for about 30 minutes. I found that reading that blog truly was a "walk down memory lane" and I am so pleased to realize that I have been keeping a family journal......even if it is only a virtual one......even if it is spotty at times. I often regret my lack of keeping a family journal so this was such a relief to discover. Phew.....I do have some memories........somewhere.
Edgar left a comment on a Strewing post. After visiting his wonderful, simple and pretty blog, it reminded me of how I have always blogged......all five years of it......sharing my thoughts and the beauty around me.....and the memories we make with our loved ones. I loved that. It was the journal I rarely recorded my life in. I think for me, I will keep that in mind while I write. I still want to produce all of our plans for the blog, and even though some of them seem like they are being written for an audience, I really am just going to keep thinking of this as an online journal.......one I am loving sharing with my dearest friend.
A funny thing is.........that I have no ego about whether our blog gets read far and wide, or is popular. I really am okay with just writing into the air :)...or, my journal, if you will. And if my pride ever starts to get involved, I squelch it......... because I want to just have it be an offering, to God really. He is the AIR, I guess. :)
But........after ten years of trying to figure it out........I think we have finally discovered that one of my primary Love Languages is Words of Affirmation (regardless of my kids' opinion.......Willa and I have hashed it out of me, finally :).... )........and when someone takes the time to leave a comment here......or even just become a stat for having read the post, I feeled "loved". I get those warm and fuzzy feelings. :) ......I just want you, the "audience" to know how much your comments and views are appreciated. I have already made a handful of new friends through this blog......a blessing, indeed. :)
So, the bottom line: my writings on this blog are just for me and my posterity......and apparently Willa's as well......since we are here together. I know that sometimes I will write to an "audience", but ultimately, I am going to stay focused on me, mine, Willa, hers, and God. I am going to bask in any comments we receive......because that makes me feel loved. I am going to ignore any lack of comments and attention, because ultimately........this is just my not so private-life-journal. :)
Just thinking out loud.....and looking for clarity in taking the time to blog.....
Blessings!
Chari
....hope I make some sense....... :)
and just keep in mind that some of us are reading you through 'readers' and you won't get hits unless we pop over to leave a comment. (oh and I also pop over to read your diigo shares at least until I work out how to sign up for your diigo feed)
ReplyDeletebtw I really enjoyed your strewing post and am now toying with joining in. Although would a post of bush fires and boys carting chooks (chickens) about fit with strewing or a wordless wednesday? and now I ramble...
Erin...I have no idea what "diigo shares" means.....except that you recommended it to Willa...and she likes it. :)
DeleteThe nice thing about joining in with the strewing posts...you just join in when you are writing a post about strewing anyway :) That is how I do it ;)
...and YES!!! bush fires and chooks fit....we are homeschoolers. We can make EVERYTHING fall into an educational category....right??
...i love your rambling....keep sharing! thanks for coming by and leaving a comment. I am flattered that you broke away form the reader and came over.
oh, and BTW...."I" read YOUR blog in my email.....and always think about popping over to leave a comment....but rarely get there. So, the same goes for you. I am a stat that you cannot see. :) Thanks for making that possible. I appreciate it!
God bless!....and prayers for your special intentions from the TL......
So you can share random photos that fit random learning? actually I don't even strew some things they capture, yesterdays' photos were connections, we'd been reading about butterflies and my 6 yr old unbeknown to me grabbed the camera, zoomed and took photos of butterflies when he saw them.
Deletethere I go rambling again
anyway so nice to know you are visiting:) and thanks for the prayers
I've had similar thoughts to these, Chari. I nearly gave up blogging, just before I met you on my blog, and it was actually your friendliness that inspired me to keep writing. Since then, I've been tempted, again, to stop posting because I was struggling to see the purpose in it and daily life was getting busy.
ReplyDeleteI guess my reason for blogging has been to share and make friends. A couple of times, I've begun to lose direction but God seems to pull me back, again. I get the sense that there's something worthwhile about sharing and that it's not always apparent when you've made a connection.
I don't feel the need for a huge readership, either. It would mean spending too much time on the computer and I'm more comfortable with a small group of close friends than lots of acquaintances. But, like you, I enjoy the feeling of being loved! I love having friends and swapping encouraging comments - I think it does make the time spent blogging worthwhile. I've thought about just making a private blog of memories but just the possibility of sharing seems better than enforced isolation.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Chari. It's so good to know that someone else thinks this, too.
God bless:-)
Vicky
Deleteyou are another I haven't commented on lately but I am still reading, just going through a busy life time
Like Erin mentioned, I read your blog through a reader too - so you have more people reading than your stats let on! I struggle with why to blog and who I am blogging for. I have a closed blog where I share photos for the family, but I don't write on that one much. I have a public one (as you know, thanks for your recent comments!) and I wonder if I should spend the time on it. I think I blog to try to make connections with other people and when that doesn't seem to happen I feel like it isn't worth it. But I don't want to be driven by blog stats and comments, that just doesn't seem right! So I to blog for me instead to see how that feels. So far it seems a little self indulgent, but it seems like a pretty harmless one! And I think you are right in looking at it like a journal - I used to blog a lot more and I have enjoyed dipping back into that occasionally. It certainly is a walk down memory lane!
ReplyDeleteAmber, now I just found your blog:) and added to my reader, my sort of blog:)
DeleteI am another that reads through Google reader, so I am invisible, stat-wise, but always reading.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for me to write original writings everyday. I have to cite quotations or excerpts from works I have read in the past. I tried to complemet it with a photo that closely represents the idea or gives a hint of the idea since it is one of the reasons for my blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind comments.