A Liberating Education

I wrote this a couple of years ago at the request of Sue Elvis for the blog  Australian Catholic Families.  I forgot I had written it until I was reading the latest section of Desiring the Kingdom and realized this had a bit to do with the subject of liturgical education.   So I am reposting it here. 

A little while ago, my friend-from-the-other-side-of-the-world Sue Elvis asked me to write about the Catholic college my daughter is attending. I had described bits of it in a comment on her blog -- how in the classes the young men and women wear collared shirts and nice slacks, not jeans (if young men) and dresses or skirts (if young women), how they address each other as Mr and Miss during class time, and how I thought that contributed to a culture of respect and seriousness as they read great books of the Catholic tradition and discuss them in seminar format.

Besides that, I wasn’t sure what else to say! What would interest Australian Catholic readers in hearing about a small Great Books college in California? (Well, Cardinal Pell did come to this same college to deliver a commencement address, but besides that too?) Could I say anything that wasn’t already over there on the college’s site?

While I was thinking about it, I could hear strains of music floating up from the kitchen where my daughter was enjoying her summer break by cooking something. The music was a CD of a concert that one of her tutors had performed on campus during the school year. He has a beautiful low tenor or baritone and was singing a wide variety of songs, including a rendition of On the Road to Mandalay, a Victorian song based on the poem by Kipling, which keeps running through my head as I type! The college schedules a series of concerts every year and often draws on the talent within its own bounds, since many of the students and faculty are musically gifted.

From many things my daughter has said to me, one of the best parts of college to her is getting to know adults (and some fellow students, too) who are not only intelligent and devout in the practice of their faith, but also interesting human beings. And more than that, lifelong learners. This particular tutor is taking voice lessons. Other tutors raise tarantulas or climb mountains during their holiday breaks. The school psychologist and his wife have raised a large family who are all talented Irish dancers, singers and violinists who have toured professionally. .

Some of the tutors are college alumni, and some of the students attending the college are the children or siblings of alumni. Many of the graduates from the college have gone on to do noteworthy things -- some went on to further scholarly work in different fields, some are writers, some founded Catholic elementary or secondary schools, a significant number took religious vows or entered the priesthood, and many others are mothers or fathers of families. The influence of the learning environment ripples outward just the way I now have some old songs running through my head even though I do not know Clare’s musical tutor personally and was not there to hear him sing.

This made me think about what learning is about and what we hope for when we send our children to college. Surely we hope that while there, they will be supported in their faith, that they will be treated with dignity, that they will learn how the parts (the subjects) fits in with the whole, and that they will move closer to being the people that God wants them to become. Class time is only a part of this project of emerging from childhood into adult life. There are many ways, of course, for this to happen, and not everyone needs to go to college, particularly not to a particular tiny college in the California foothills. Yet the fact that there is an option like this is encouraging to those who are interested in Catholic formation.

To some, having a dress code for classes and meals, and a requirement of addressing each other by honorific prefixes, might seem restrictive and old-fashioned, especially in informal places like southern California. Yet you can see it another way. Dressing well and speaking with courtesy is what adults do to show respect for each other and to themselves.

And to some, learning ends when you graduate from school, whenever that might be; learning ends when you have your “ticket” out into the job market. Maybe you might take some classes to keep up in your profession or industry, but many will give up any thought of continuing to read seriously outside of their field, or learn a new skill, or develop a latent talent.

Yet surely one of the most important things we can teach our young people is how rich life is -- how life is about more than just making money and passing time; it is about learning to be a human, and that learning is lifelong and deeply related to Christian themes of seeking for wisdom and sharing it with others. We all benefit when someone near us gets passionately interested in something and shares this interest with us. It broadens our world. It is like a seed planted, or a gift given.

At my daughter’s college, the tutors, and the grown alumni, and other adults, are inviting the students to see that learning is not just about assimilating what the “experts” pass down, until you can become an expert yourself. It’s about engaging in real things, things of lasting value, and acknowledging that you bachelor of arts degree is just a beginning, not an end, to lifelong learning.

Wednesday With Words: You Will Not Be The Same

 

      I have finally confiscated my own computer from my youngest boys......who are becoming little Olympics addicts......since for the first the in their lives we have the ability to see the Olympics through streaming......

       I tried to write this post all day Wednesday......but was unable to pin the computer down when I had the free time......so Thursday With Words it is.....

      Last week I misunderstood the link-up.  It was my first time, after all. I thought it was simply "quotes"......then I discovered it was quotes from books we are reading......Well, yeah.  This is a literature-based blog.  I can handle book quotes.

     So, when I thought about what I was currently reading, I decided to consider the The Hobbit.  I am reading it aloud to my 12 year old son.  I wanted to make sure he heard all of it from Tolkien before Hollywood twisted the story in his mind.  I wonder if it will be my last time to read it aloud......it is my third time.  He is my youngest. 

      Since I am reading aloud, we discuss the great quotes when they come up......but I do not have time to write down or savor any of the words........so I put "Hobbit Quotes" into Google......found one that spoke to me...and brought it here.

 

Gandalf: I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.

Bilbo: I should think so—in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can’t think what anybody sees in them …

Gandalf:  You’ll have a tale or two to tell when you come back

Bilbo:  You can promise that I’ll come back?”

Gandalf:  No. And if you do, you will not be the same

      The very first thing that came to my mind when I read this quote.......were my three kids who chose to go off on the adventure of a lifetime........even knowing that it would forever change them.

     In fact, as we said farewell to each of them as they departed in their own turn as Rotary International Exchange Student Ambassadors, both they knew and we knew, we were saying goodbye to the who they were at that moment in time, at just eighteen years of age. 

      Two have gone and returned home.  One is currently on her exchange.  And yes, they have changed.  And I love them for it.  They are certainly more global in their thinking.....

My sweet baby girl, Maddelyn, is currently in Slovakia. 
I am so proud of her.
She is offspring number 4, youngest of the three girls.
Becoming fluent in Slavic.

Matthew lived in Switzerland for a year.
His is standing on the Matterhorn here.
He is offspring Number 2, the oldest of the three boys.
Fluent in German.

 

Sarah lived in Austria for her exchange year.
She is the middle girl of the three girls, and offspring Number 3.
She is now fluent in German.
I am so proud of her.

 

      I am so very excited that I found this quote in one of our favorite books by one of our favorite authors.......one who encouraged the spirit of adventure in my kids.  First they practiced with his stories in our living room and then our backyard....and then they applied it to the world.

 

God bless JRR Tolkien!

 

 

 

 

Go to Ordo Amoris for more Wednesdays with Words.

 

Blessings,

              Chari

 

Cross of Ages

Side Note:   I think I got Chari's Christmas Literature Evening list working on Google Drive.  If you check it out, let us know if it is working or not. 

I recently read a book called When Will My Grown Up Kid Grow Up?   It speaks to the concern many parents have nowadays about "boomerang kids" and slow transitions out into the world.  

According to this book, our society has become more like the hobbits of the Shire in one way -- that kids generally take longer to mature and become adults in their own right (in the Shire, adulthood comes at age 33, while according to this book, the time frame is more like age 27 to 29).

This puts a burden on parents who expected to find life easier in their 50's and 60's and instead are still partially supporting and involved with  adult children as well as possibly aging parents.    And this in a tough economic climate where these middle aged parents may be facing financial problems of their own and possibly marriage strain or divorce.  Plus, the adult kids may well be in situations that worry the parents aside from the economics -- living in unstable relationships, involved in drugs, wasting their lives online, etc (this part isn't much like the Shire, where immature folly seems to wear a more innocent and idyllic aspect).

The book presents an optimistic view of the phenomenon of adult children's slow transition to independence.  It gives lots of examples of different scenarios, plenty of helpful hints for the parents, and a generally hopeful perspective.  It assures the parents that if you can financially and emotionally weather the long transition, by the late 20's the majority of adult children HAVE found some sort of stability and a life of their own.       I didn't agree with everything in the book by any means (for example, the accepting attitude that every young adult nowadays "lives together" with someone pre-marriage, etc ). but I thought it was worth reading as a social commentary even if you are not having the difficulties described in the book.

It also points out that this slower transition can aid in strengthening relationships between adult children and their parents.   Sure, there are also relationship tensions and the possibility of enabling problem behaviors, but people in the 20's are usually more willing than teenagers to see the other side of things and recognize what their parents are dealing with.

The reason I'm writing this  is because I read this book soon after I read the biography of Jane Franklin (Benjamin Franklin's younger sister) and the contrast underlined something I have suspected for quite a while -- this type of situation is not new.    In fact, I think we have just come out of an artificial economic/social bubble and so what looks to us like current social dysfunction is actually closer to the historical norm than, say, the 50's, when most adult children were better educated than their parents and could walk out the door of their childhood home and easily find a comfortable job that would support them until retirement with a pension.

Our expectations are rather skewed by this, possibly, whereas in other times and other places in the world, where often several generations are deeply intertwined economically and socially and one's future life is by no means a secure thing.  

(Obviously, there are new things like technology that complicate the picture -- but I'm just talking about the basic part of the equation -- adult children living at home, having trouble finding a place in the world, changing jobs, etc).

In Book of Ages, which describes the life of the Franklin family, you see Jane Franklin having 12 children in poverty while taking care of her aging parents (and living in their home for much of her life, since her wastrel husband couldn't support his own family).   Later, you see her struggling to get her adult children launched into the world.  Benjamin Franklin picked one of the more "promising" of her sons to provide a launch into the publishing business.   He put him into an apprenticeship, but soon the boy was complaining about harsh treatment.  A little later he ran away.    Franklin tried again, sending him to the Indies, but the young man went into debt.    Later on this son of Jane's became mentally ill, along with another of her sons.   Later they both died, but in the meantime, Jane had significant trouble providing for them (there were no mental institutions in the colonies at the time, so she sent one grown son to the country under the care of a farmer's wife who extorted large fees, while the other more high functioning son became somewhat of a public disgrace to the family).

I already mentioned how Jane's husband and several of her children died of tuberculosis.  Her husband had fallen into debt and so tradesmen took at least some of her furniture and other belongings away to settle his accounts.   A couple of her daughters married well, but others married scoundrels.  One of her daughters was widowed, and Jane took care of the daughter's young children for a couple of years in addition to running a boarding house.   Her young grandson was crippled by a fall and had to use crutches for the rest of his life.   When her daughter remarried she requested her children back in spite of Jane's grave misgivings.  Later, the crippled son disappeared for several years during the War, reappearing unexpectedly to ask Franklin for patronage, which annoyed Jane very much because she didn't want her descendants to hang on her prosperous brother.

Later still Jane cared for her infant  GREAT-grandchildren for a while in spite of being ailing and weak at the time.   One of her nieces lived with her for a while until her circumstances were more stable.   So there were definitely boomerang kids back then too.  In fact, some of her experiences remind me very much of some of the things people I know are going through today.    Mental illness, health issues, improvidence, unstable marriages and young children who fall through the cracks.  Balancing between the needs of your elderly parents and your young children, while trying to launch your teens into the world, and provide for your family as a single mom, all at the same time.   These things are not new.   At least we don't have to evacuate from our city to escape the British soldiers as Jane and her family did, and come back later to clean up and salvage.    Though some of us have dealt with basement floods, hurricanes or house fires, which might be somewhat similar in their effects.

The difference is that most of us nowadays don't go through ALL that.    Everything that could go wrong with Jane, did.    I am just amazed reading her life how she kept her strength and spirit and intellectual curiosity.  Of the two siblings, if I had to be either Jane or Ben, I think I would choose to be Jane.   Benjamin  was in a common-law relationship with Deborah Read, who was still married to a man who had disappeared on her.    His first son was illegitimate and ended up being a traitor to his father (a British loyalist).   His grandson was also illegitimate and a philanderer.    I am not minimizing Franklin's accomplishments and I like the man, but again, I would choose Jane's Job-like sufferings over Franklin's success and prosperity (I hope so, anyway).    To give him his due, aside from his scientific, literary, and entrepreneurial accomplishments, Franklin was also a genuine philanthropist and did much to make life easier for his sister as well as improving society in general.    Meanwhile, Jane cared for everyone who came to her for help.    She did what she had to do, and then a bit more.

I am describing all this to show that nothing is new under the sun and that some of what we consider our present social dysfunction parallels that of earlier days.   And parts of it might not be dysfunction at all, but part of our ordinary tasks as parents.   We might be tempted to think of those founding days as idyllic  -- everyone industrious and religious and decent in our "land of opportunity" -- but there was a different side to things, too, at least according to this book.    

 The essential thing seems to be  (to me) to keep faith, as Jane did -- to do what is right and let God decide the rest.  And to be grateful for the blessings and comforts I am at risk of taking for granted!   These are things I have to remind myself of every day.   Nothing is new under the sun, but everything can be renewed -- replenished --  in this way.

On Practicality

 A couple of days ago I was browsing back through the Circe blog and found an article called:  Truth or Consequences:  On Being Practical.   It made me think, especially as I had just written about St Ignatius being Practical and according to Newman thus suited to teach our modern times.

Some reflections follow.   They are not at all in opposition to what Mr Kern was saying.  I thoroughly agree with his take on American culture in general.   I just want to muse a bit about why homeschool moms (speaking for myself primarily, but I've noticed it in others too) CRAVE practicality, search for it in the fields, sweep the house looking for it like the widow in the parable who lost her coin -- well, you get the picture.

Newman does us a favor, perhaps, by using Prudence as a synonmym for Practicality.   Let's think a bit about what Prudence is.   Here's Aquinas (an easier explanation than some others)

St. Thomas Aquinas ranked prudence as the first cardinal virtue, because it is concerned with the intellect. Aristotle defined prudence as recta ratio agibilium, "right reason applied to practice." It is the virtue that allows us to judge correctly what is right and what is wrong in any given situation. When we mistake the evil for the good, we are not exercising prudence—in fact, we are showing our lack of it. Because it is so easy to fall into error, prudence requires us to seek the counsel of others, particularly those we know to be sound judges of morality. Disregarding the advice or warnings of others whose judgment does not coincide with ours is a sign of imprudence.

Aristotle teaches that prudence informs all the cardinal virtues. Prudence is the acquired ability—that is, the habit—of discovering and judging what is right in any given set of circumstances, even where this cannot be deduced from general principles. It is prudence that makes it possible to do the right thing in the right place at the right time. An action that is courageous in one instance may be rash or foolish in another, because the time and place are not right. Prudence puts the actions in the right order.  -- Laura Berquist, Character Formation

Some unpacking:

1.  Prudence is concerned with the intellect  -- it comes from your mind, your heart in the Christian sense of "core of your deepest being"
2.  It is also concerned with PRACTICE, the practical, with the active sphere of life.  Things that you DO.   Christ constantly reiterated that the inside is of key importance but it will always be reflected in exterior ACTION.   It is never sterile or hidden "under a basket".
3.  Prudence lets us judge what is right and wrong in a given situation.  -- it lets us "order things rightly"
4.  It can't always be deduced from general principles (because of our limitations of reason).
5..  Prudence requires us to seek the counsel of others -- specifically those we think are sound judges.

David Isaacs, in his book about Character Building which I resort to again and again, says that small children cannot be truly prudent because they have not built up sufficient life experience.   The best they can do in place of prudence is obey their parents, which substitutes for the more adult virtue or rather allows them to imitate and participate in their parent's prudence.  "Don't walk into that street, child; cars drive down it."    At first he does not know, but trusts and obeys. Therefore, prudence requires experience, either our own or other peoples'.

Whenever we get into a brand new sphere of life, we are in somewhat of the position of babies again, though our general life experience may help.   When I first became a mother I had  no firsthand experience of that happy state.   I learned from reflecting on my own childhood, from keeping attuned to my baby, from reading about mothering, and especially from other mothers, specifically my own mother and mother-in-law, who stayed with me and my newborn and gave me some invaluable tips and support.  I would not even have known what to ask for.  They gave me strategies, and practicing the strategies helped me develop my understanding.

Same when I became a homeschooler.  I knew even less and the help was way scarcer because there weren't very many homeschoolers around then.   There was no internet.   Every homeschool book I could acquire, I read to tatters, and still have significant passages memorized.   (Sometimes I disagree with them now, but that is still helpful as I dialogue internally).

And I tried to stay open to MY experience, again, as I had as a new mother.  I watched my children.   When one small son had a violent reaction to Rod and Staff math, I switched over to something else, though with intense doubts because I was afraid I was enabling him.  I wasn't, by the way -- it would have been better if I had done it sooner.

Aquinas says you learn from discipline (teaching) and discovery (personal experience).

Therefore, just as someone can be healed in two ways -- first by the action of nature only, second by the collaboration of nature and medicine -- so also there are two ways of acquiring knowledge. First, when the mind moves by its own natural power to an understanding of things previously unknown to it. This is called discovery (inventio). Second, when the mind is helped by an outside power of reason. This is called teaching (disciplina).

Aquinas also says that in an art, while theory AND practical experience together are better than either alone, if you have to have just one, the practical know-how is better.  To see the truth in this, picture who you would rather have build your house -- someone who had built many solid houses (perhaps learning the practice from his father) or someone right out of school who had learned much about the theory of house-building.  Here is where the American affinity for practicality makes sense.

However, practicality makes no sense in a vacuum.  By definition, the practice of something depends on the ends which you are striving towards.   It is FOR something.  Everything goes back to first principles.  As Mr Kern points out, where we get into trouble is when we don't have true principles to rest on, when we are not "pondering in our hearts" as Mary did.   Then one "expert" tells us to spank our babies whenever they "disobey" where another tells us that children are good and it is the adults who are bad, so we should never reign in our babies or children.   Both bits of advice have significant practical import, but what do you choose if you don't have the least clue what the nature of a child is?

So it is deeply "practical" to think through to the truth of things.    As Mr Kern says:

Not because none of these things matter, but because the truth matters more (I have always been fascinated by how suspiciously and even angrily the practical regards the true, while the true has always loved and honored the practical). ..... The truth is far more practical than practicality.

You don't have to be an intellectual type to think through to the truth of things.   You can be the youngest and simplest of Roman girls who goes to face the lions praising God.    Truth is received by the "intellect" which is not being like Sherlock Holmes or the philosophy prof at the college but is a kind of understanding of the heart that comes above all from God's gift of charity -- of the gifts of faith, hope and love.   It is a habit of seeing clearly in God's light.

Resting in God with One's Children

Edward Frere

When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would make arrangements for them to be purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, "Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." This was Job's regular custom.   Job 1: 5

In regard to my ongoing thoughts about homeschooling and grown kids, (I guess I didn't say absolutely everything I wanted to say) I've always loved this bit of Job I've quoted above.  What a great idea!  I don't make burnt offerings, but as much as my distractable self remembers to do so, I pray and offer up the trials of the day for them (and for future spouses of my children, as well).

I did not think this up on my own, obviously.  Once when my mom was talking to me about some parenting mistakes she thought she had made, I asked her if she thought she had done anything really right and she said instantly:  "I prayed.  ALL the time."

Though I did not have children at the time I immediately made that my life model.   Thank you Mom.    In her last couple of decades, as her life got less busy,  I know Mom was CONSTANTLY praying for all her grown children and their children.  This has been very consoling to me.  "I had a mother who prayed for me....."   If there is one thing I want to do for my children, it is to pray for them, because I got scraped off the very edge of the boiling pot through grace, and I have to think my Mom's prayers had a lot to do with it.

No materials needed, no special abilities.... so easy.   My main challenges are just (1) remembering to pray (2)  intentionally carving out time to do so.   Before I got sick I would wake up early in the morning and journal and pray.  I haven't done this so well recently because my hands cramp when I write and if I pray in my head I get distracted very easily or fall asleep.  But people who are very busy, or in poor health, or grieving or gravely preoccupied, or have focus issues, can pray in little aspirations during the day.   They can even just offer up their difficulties in prayer.  ... or ask others to pray for them (has gotten me through many a dark day).

Sometimes I also struggle with that thing where you feel you should do it yourself and not bother God, that you somehow have to win back into His favor before you reach out to Him, but hardly ever any more.   When I feel like that I read Psalms or a bit of St Therese of Lisieux --- that always clears that attitude right up.    Plus I've seen so many prayers accomplish so much where my efforts have gone absolutely nowhere.

Furthermore, they are always answered in such an odd, adventurous way that I never would have thought up by myself.  Sometimes heartache is involved, yes, as with Job, but my true self, the one I want to become, does not mind that so much because it is somehow in touch with the day I will see the other side of the tapestry where there aren't knots and ravels and cut-off bits.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

 

Ignatian Education is my longtime foundation or perhaps more correctly visionary summit for homeschooling.    I started homeschooling when my oldest was going into 3rd grade, which was almost twenty years ago now, and for a couple of years, I didn't have much of a clue what I was doing or why (beyond that my husband wanted to homeschool and I felt called to give it my best try).

I had read about everything from unschooling to "better late than early" to unit studies to Charlotte Mason to Douglas-Wilson type classical to Laura Berquist's version of the Trivium, and we were using a structured curriculum (somewhat sporadically), but I didn't get a real handle on the principles of education till we enrolled with Kolbe Academy and especially until I read their manual, Implementation of Ignatian Education in the Home.

"Christian perfection here below" is the ideal of Ignatian Education.   This gave me an integrating principle and the more specific details of implementations helped me sort out and prioritize all the options out there.   I can't say I have done eminently with these principles, but I can say that I would have done worse without them and their informing motto:  Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam (For the Greater Glory of God). 

I haven't been an active Ignatian educator for several years now due to a combination of factors.   One was simply weariness and mismatch of vision with daily reality.   Basically I realized I just wasn't very good at homeschooling and mothering, never mind excellent.    Our successes have come from grace and a providential serendipity and my children's Gaelic talent for finding treasure in the most unlikely places.    Another problem is middle age.   I was idealistic well into my forties, but now I struggle.   Aristotle says there is a kind of youthful hope that is simply optimism and lack of solid experience, and then a more mature hope that reckons with reality, which I would identify with Christian hope, though of course he did not.  I am in the transition point.    Of course, God always infused my natural capacity with grace but I feel like I have to operate more fully on supernatural gift of hope since I don't have the natural qualities of youth anymore.  And it's taking a while to find my stride.

All this is to say that when it turned out our new pope was a Jesuit who identified himself with Francis of Assisi (and perhaps Francis Xavier and Francis de Sales as well) it revived my dormant fascination with all things Ignatian.

I just found a new (to me) word, Magis.  I know that combined with Jesuit it sounds sort of creepy, like alchemists in a lab or occult forces, but what it means is apparently "the more".   And the meaning is quite admirable, much as "Jesuit" refers gloriously to service to Our Lord Jesus, even though the term was originally one of oppobrium. 

Magis (pronounced "màh-gis") is a Latin word that means "the more." It is taken from Ad majorem Dei gloriam, a Latin phrase meaning "for the greater glory of God." Magis refers to the philosophy of doing more, for Christ, and therefore for others. It is an expression of an aspiration and inspiration. It relates to forming the ideal society centered around Jesus Christ.
The roots of the phrase are ascribed to St. Ignatius' exercise of doing more for God. He would encourage people around him during his time by asking: "What have I done for God? What am I doing for God? and What MORE can I do for Him?"

I love that!

There is a bit more at the Ignatian Spirituality site:  The Foundation of Heroism: Magis.

Early Jesuits captured this aggressive drive, this relentless energy, in a one-word motto plucked from elsewhere in the Exercises: magis, Latin for “more.” Jesuits are exhorted to always “choose and desire” the strategic option that is more conducive to their goals. But the simple motto captures a broader spirit, a restless drive to imagine whether there isn’t some even greater project to be accomplished or some better way of attacking the current problem.Motivation is personal. And the meditative exercises transformed Jesuit company goals into personal ones. The meditation on the two kings presents an invitation, not an order. Accepting that invitation is a personal decision.

Jesuits used this idea of "more for His greater glory"  to do extraordinary things.    They went to all the corners of the earth to evangelize.   They died in dreadful ways with the utmost courage and grace.     They developed a unique, characteristic but not idiosyncratic form of education, particularly focusing on high school and college.   Their brand of education was thoroughly humanistic (in the non-pejorative sense, meaning education fitted to the human being, not the specialist or the worker, with an emphasis on literature and language) but they also trained and equipped great scientists and thinkers (in particular, Jesuit philosophers have distinguished themselves as moral theologians, pedogogues, and spiritual directors).

Miguel Pro was a Jesuit.  So was Edmund Campion.    So was Gerard Manley Hopkins.   In our day, we have the late Fr John Hardon,  Fr Joseph Fessio,and of course, the present Pope Francis.     Scratch a heroic martyr or distinguished Catholic writer and you are quite likely to find a Jesuit.

The legacy of the Jesuit company in our day is a mixed one.    I am not sure exactly what happened to the order, but it seems to parallel what happened to the Church in general during the 50's through the 70's.     Nowadays you have to pick and choose your Jesuits and their works.   Some are thoroughly orthodox, like Fessio and Hardon, others are a mixture, and still others can't quite be trusted.    A priest in our area lamented that not one Jesuit college can be totally trusted to be loyal to the Magisterium. ... a sad fall for a Society who takes a vow of special service to the Pope.

Getting back to "Magis" -- it is etymologically and conceptually not unlike Charlotte Mason's idea of "Magnanimity".   In turn, I am guessing that CM was influenced by Aristotle's conception of Magnanimity. ... greatness of soul.

As I said, I am middle-aged and lacking in the visionary idealism of my younger days, but after all,  St Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuit "Company", started his road to endeavor quite late in life.    In his 30's, he put himself in grammar school to learn Latin alongside pre-teen boys.    It wasn't until his mid-40's that he founded the Society of Jesus.    Even though I am dragging a bit during this last stage of the marathon, and I know I am not the only one,  his life encourages me that God provides hope for the weary, comfort for the sorrowful, ever-new sources of refreshment for the thirsty. 

If you are interested in using careful method while aspiring to high goals, it is worthwhile reading more about Ignatian spirituality and educational practices.     Robert Schwickerath's Jesuit Education is carefully documented, slightly polemical in tone, and an extensive source of information about the practices and principles of Ignatian education.  I've already mentioned Kolbe Academy's Implementation of Ignatian Education in the Home, which is sort of a sketch/outline, very packed, but makes it a bit easier to envision how the educational model might be applied to home education.    A very nice article by Fr Fessio lays out a vision for Christian revival:  The Family, Monastery of the New Dark Ages, which seems to complement our Counsels of Perfection book study: 

There are many other things like the home schooling movement, but I use this as the icon, because in the new Dark Ages every home must be a monastery. Every home must be a place of refuge. It won’t be summa quies, as I’m sure people who are families here will tell me; nevertheless it will be a certain repose from the hectic noise, promiscuity and violence of the world. It will definitely be that. It will be a sanctuary, a holy place.

The surprising election of Pope Francis and its series of "firsts" (first modern retirement of a living Pope, first American, first Jesuit, first Francis) gives me hope for the Jesuit order and reminds me of the ceaseless work of the Holy Spirit in the world.   I know that divine Wind, Fire, Breath operates ceaselessly and ubiquitously in every instant and location, but sometimes it becomes more apparent to me, as if a veil were lifted for a moment. 

I have come to think of the Holy Spirit as answering prayers only half-uttering, of turning prosaic, seemingly predictable elements slightly aside and showing a brand new picture.   JRR Tolkien called it eucatastrophe,  and perhaps a quote from him is the best way to end this

And I was there led to the view that it produces its peculiar effect because it is a sudden glimpse of Truth, your whole nature chained in material cause and effect, the chain of death, feels a sudden relief as if a major limb out of joint had suddenly snapped back. It perceives – if the story has literary 'truth' on the second plane (....) – that this is indeed how things really do work in the Great World for which our nature is made.

By analogy, I think there is hope for your homeschool, even if daily life seems to daily knock you down, even if you feel as broken and shattered as Ignatius felt after the cannon blasted his leg, as inept and stupid as he must have felt striving in his 30's to acquire Latin along with 12 year olds.   The whole of Jesuit tradition has showed that "Magis", the More, can be given, by God's grace, from the less of our ordinary human capacity. 

St Ignatius, St Francis Xavier, St Peter Favre,  St Miguel Pro, pray for us! 

Homeschool High School Carnival: January 2013 Edition

This first Homeschool High School Carnival of 2013 is hosted at Gae at Cherished Hearts at Home and the topic is:   

Finding our Stride..... Homeschoolers with highschoolers, particularly long term homeschoolers tend to find a groove.  How has your family’s educational philosophy evolved over the years?  Where do you find yourself in the highschool years?

"Finding a groove" reminds me of LP records.   Do you remember those?  I grew up with them, and I suppose that dates me.  CDs didn't come out till I was out of college, or at least, we didn't get a player until we were married, and they were still pretty new then.

Anyway, the principle of the LP record was that a needle travels along a groove in a concentric spiral, getting further and further in until you reach the ungrooved middle when the record ends. 

In child-raising, though, it seems to work the other way.    The "groove" spiral starts out small and goes outwards, getting bigger and bigger. until it gets to the end and then, I suppose, the child launches out into the world.   Though I've realized more and more that you are a parent till the day you die; you don't quit when the child goes out into the world, and though your role does change it has been changing all along, so it's not exactly an abrupt break.

Our educational philosophy hasn't really changed over the years, but I guess it has evolved or developed in that it's being road-tested now as three children go out into the world and four more are in various stages of transitioning.
 
This is what we started with:
 
We wanted our children to be "trained up in the way they should go" which to us meant attention to their own unique qualities and inclinations, but at the same time, with solid formation that applies to every person because they are humans made in God's image and intended to be citizens of heaven.  

Another way to say this would be Pope John Paul's "Families, become what you are!" which means both attentiveness to the uniqueness of each child, plus a lively discernment of what God wants them to be.

Obviously this is a trial and error proposition.    It involves a certain kind of balancing between two things.   "Formation" or "training" means raising children properly.   It has both its negative and positive sides.

On the negative front, Chesterton points out that God gave us freedom when He gave us the Decalogue.  Only Ten "Thou Shalt Nots".    That is insanely simple compared to, say, the regulations of our society, which seem to be getting exponentially more complex.   Just look at your tax forms and the papers you have to fill out to get your children insured, say, or to enter kindergarten, for that matter.

On the positive front, there is "freedom for excellence."   Because our society has so very many constraints, and many of them are artificial, there is a constant discerning process going on.    Which restraints truly promote the good of the individual and of society?  Which can be dispensed with?  When you are homeschooling, or trying to live as a Christian, more possible laws and restraints pop up.    Again, there is that discerning process.   There are "gurus" everywhere who will heap up burdens and laws if you let them.   Which are good?  Which are unnecessary or even harmful?  

Here is where I love our Church, which focuses on the necessary ones, and also provides wholesome ones that are not necessary but which CAN be good.    Voluntary following of certain rules in a spirit of freedom can be extremely beneficial.  Any time you join a club, or pursue a hobby or sport, or marry, or take part in a group endeavor, you sign on for a certain set of voluntary limits.   Humans thrive on this kind of voluntary structure.  Watch how children naturally invent rules for themselves, or how they are attracted to games and fairy tales, where the rules are deeply inherent in the thing itself, and mysterious and arbitrary.  Chesterton talks about that, too.

But take the game or fairy tale and make it obligatory, or add false rules that come from the exterior.   The child shrinks or pushes away, as it should.    

As a mother, I have made many mistakes in this dance, this delicate balancing act between "rules for excellence" and "rules that offend, despise, and hinder" the child.   

A teenager seems to be pre-programmed to "test" the childhood structure, not in a rebellious, nihilistic counter-dependent way, but in a very human, idealistic way.    The high school years are often at least partially a time to sort out and re-order childhood structure and values.     From my teenage years (which weren't spent very wisely) I can remember my intense hunger to see and hear my parents, what made them operate, how they thought and decided.   At the same time I remember my impatience with mere restatements of the "old rules".

I see this, mostly in a more healthy form, in my own teenage children.  They ask questions, they learn more complex skills alongside me, they discuss and sometimes protest.    To me this is both a discipline for me as parent, and a great joy, because even though I feel humiliated or frustrated sometimes (the kid is RIGHT!  How do I acknowledge that and still keep my parental mystique?  The kid is WRONG!  How do I show him where he went off course!)

How This Works in Daily Life

This seems to me to be the core of what homeschooling a teenager is about, but of course, that doesn't really touch the daily details and it is getting away from "finding your groove" so here are some things we have found that help with this basic agenda.    This is our "groove".

Good Books and chances to discuss them .  Good books raise questions and deal with issues that are important for kids to think about -- when I look at young adults nowadays I see them being encouraged to settle for easy, shallow solutions to big issues -- either by their peers or by authority figures. 

Some movies -- for the same reason.

I think it's important to have a mixture of classic and modern books and movies.  The classic ones are usually guaranteed to be quality resources for whatever reason made them stand the test of time, and so studying them gives you a natural historical perspective.

Modern ones, studied *in the context of the family* (this part seems very important to me) gives both kids and parents a view of the present society.

If we could only do one, classic or modern, I would go for the classic, because the modern world is too much with us anyway, late and soon.  But current art forms give us perspective, help us stand back and look at our environment, so I think they are valuable in that way, as long as they aren't just another form of unconscious immersion.

Lots of conversation.  Not just about books and movies and art, but about life in general.

Live alongside the high schooler.   I am trying to do this more consciously.   My older three kids did more chores at an earlier age than my younger ones do presently.   But with my younger kids I am trying to make more of an effort to teach them skills, the kind that come up in everyday life, that involve problem-solving, like replacing the flapper in the toilet tank.  I think some parents do both of these things naturally.  Not me though, I have to focus on it.

Another aspect of "living alongside" is continuing to develop as a human oneself.   That doesn't mean deserting the family in the name of fulfillment.  It means, if possible, continuing to learn and grow, particularly as a Christian, but also in other ways.   If it's not possible -- if one is struggling just to survive, I think God makes up for the lacks. In this regard  I always think about Assunta Goretti, Maria Goretti's mother, who was illiterate and was forced to live in dehumanizing near-slavery, but raised a saint, which is what we are all trying to do whether we know it or not. 

Logistics and Details:  Then there are the details of preparing a high schooler, like essay writing and test prep and higher math and apprenticeship/job training.   Our "groove" in my family is to do these things for a season and in whatever way the highschooler can accept "ownership" of it.    I like to pick which hills to die on, and these aren't them, for me.    Usually we can find something that works for both me and the individual high schooler, and usually they manage to get what they need.

On the other hand, "transparency" seems important to me during these years.  If I think essay writing is important, why do I think so?  It's worth discussing and recommending and making the thing workable for the student.    On a wider note, part of transparency is evangelization.   If the child is already devout in his faith, share with him or her.  It is so sweet to pray with a teenager, or follow some devotion chosen by him or her, or hear what his faith means to him and her.    In these times, perhaps I am being evangelized as much as my child.  What a blessing!  On the other hand, if the child is questioning and doubting or just seems lukewarm, it is hard to reach out and show your own faith and how it works in your life.   Easier perhaps to scold or criticize or reproach, or just keep silent or stop thinking of your child as a fellow soul, a traveler in need of aid.    But I am so very thankful that my parents were open about their faith even when I was doubting and falling away in my teenage years, and that they didn't judge me or try to force me to say or do what I couldn't think or feel.

While things like college prep writing may not be hills to die on, mortal sins ARE hills I would have to die on.    I couldn't let it go if the child living in my home was missing weekly Mass, taking communion in an obvious state of sin, or openly and unrepentantly breaking one of the commandments.  I am not sure what I would do, since we haven't been faced with such a situation, but it would have to be the equivalent of a medical crisis, where ordinary life would basically stop until we had a treatment plan.

This brings up the issue of balance and priorities.   The things I have listed above are in our groove, but over-emphasizing one of them would make our record needle "skip"and go out of its alignment, and I am always watching to make sure this doesn't happen (or more honestly, usually trying to recover and get back on track.    Movies are good, but not to the exclusion of hard work.  Hard work is good, but not to the point of grim joylessness or major stress.   Holding the moral line is good, but not to the point of fighting battles that are really the child's, not yours anymore, or making your battle against sin into a battle against the child.   So balance seems important to me, though elusive, since I'm both lazy and obsessive, and those things work against proper ordering. 

And finally, prayer, my major weapon.    Probably really my only one.   Prayer and trying to progress in imitation of Christ.   I am trying every day to make this more of an essential and primary part of my homeschooling groove.  In that way, the groove reminds me of the traditional LP one, which gets deeper and deeper in until it reaches the center, the Center, when I hope to "be like Him, and to see Him as He really Is."    I can only hope for that, not do it myself, so I need grace, and when we ask for grace, we are promised that we will receive it, so I have to keep asking, and asking. 

And that will probably continue, even increase, when all my students have left our home LP and ventured out to begin on their own. 

The Fourth Annual Bryan's Summer Gala: the Before Pictures

Every summer for four summers, my offspring have collaborated to put on a dance party on our front lawn, just for the fun of it.  Though there have been excellent excuses to have a party.....such as saying goodbye or welcome to our kids who have been foreign exchange students, there really is no other purpose, but to have fun. Willa's family was to have attended the first annual party, but a terrible stomach flu postponed the date of the party and they missed it.  The Ryans did make the second party, but not the third (I think...I cannot find it in my memory bank at all. 

Were you there, Willa?).  And, they did make this fourth celebration.

This production always involves lights and a sound system. For the Summer of 2012, being the theatrical people that they are, my kids gave it the Casablanca theme.  The pictures below show the kids working on the "set" for the party.  There are pictures of some of the peoples enjoying each others' company while taking a break.  They had extra help with two cousins who were visiting for two weeks.....and later from the Ryans and another friend as well.  Our house had ten extra people to hold for the week of the Gala.  Willa's family was there with five of her offspring, my dad came with one our family friends and then the two cousins aforementioned.  Busy, but it worked. I will load a separate post for the pretty food so this post will not scroll forever, more than it already will.  Unfortunately there are not too many pictures of the actual party.  I was too busy enjoying the party and visiting with the parental-type guests.....plus I find the lighting is not good for photos.  This is the reason I took the time to take photos of the "set" before the party got going.....and the sun went down.

I have to say: 

I am so proud of the kids! 

They made a beautiful party.

It was a formal dance, in the Casablanca style-dress, if so desired. 

I love seeing the kids dress up so nicely.

 

The following pics taken the night before.....while building the "set."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next set of shots are a bit strange.

  Let me explain:

 

From my bedroom window, I found my oldest son, the engineer of the set, cuddling with my youngest daughter late in the night.......after they quit working for the evening.  I am taking the pics from within my room....so there are reflections of my room on the windows.  Yet, you can still see the out of doors.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The chief chef was working in the kitchen while the others were outside working on the set.

 

The cookie base for a yummy treat.

 

 

 

They used napkins to make some flower decorations for the tables.....which they also made. 

 

 

 

A trio of shots of my youngest daughter, Maddelyn, with her best friend from birth, Talullah.

 

Both 17 years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A boy and his grandfather.  And their devices.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next set of photos are from the day of the party.......

 

An overview of the party set.......

 

 

 

The inside view of the entrance into the party.

 

 

 

 

 

Willa's number four kid, number three son.  Sean, 19. Hanging out.

 

Set designer and engineer, Matthew, my oldest son, 21 years.  Setting up Rick's Bar.

Non-alcoholic drinks that looked like alcoholic drinks were served.  Clever.

 

 

 

 

 

Various table shots......all made just for this party.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our pair of Golden Retrievers exhausted from the work of setting up the set.  :)

 

 

 

There was a gaming room.......they made the back wall of paper bricks.

 

There was roulette, 21 and craps.

 

My professional gambler grandfather would have been proud.  ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Details of the bar.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The lights were hidden in the trees.  Was a clever idea.  Looked great at night!

 

The lanterns in the trees......their favorite part of the decor!

 

 

 

 

Dressed up for the party.

 

 

A granddaughter and a grandfather. 

My middle daughter, Sarah, 19, and my father.

An elegant photo memory.

Forever.

 

 

 

 

 

Garrett, my 15 year old, Matthew and their cousin Cecilia, 17 years.

 

 

 

My oldest daughter, Anne, 23 years.

 

 

 

Willa's only daughter, Clare, 21 years and her best friend Anne-with-an-E.

 

 

 

Sisters!!!  So to speak.

 

Clare, Sarah & Anne

 

 

 

Willa's youngest boys:  Sean, 19, Keiron, 16, Aidan, 13 and Patrick, 9.

 

 

Dr. & Mrs. LaGro....dressed for the occasion!

 

 

 

Anne-with-an-E

 

 

My Miss Maddelyn, 17 years, with dear friend Bethany

 

 

 

Friend Gavin came dressed for the occasion......

 

 

 

Sarah created their own wine label for their sparkling apple cider.

 

This allowed me to use my new copier/printer for the very first time.

 

The first time I have ever copied anything in the comfort of my own home.

 

Very cool.

 

 

 

The leftovers.......

 

 

 

 

     Thanks for sharing this sample of our shared summer memories.  Such a blessing to see Willa and hers so frequently in the last year.......(three visits for a week......and one visit with Sean for two weeks)......hoping we can get just one more in before the full year is up......

 

 

      End of summer Blessings,

 

                                Chari & Willa